I've deleted the post.

Writing that post about my ex-wife was distasteful, stupid, and definitely not christian.

So i've taken it down.

I can only pray everyone who read it does not think worse of me in any way.

Two much better (clean shaven) pictures of my new look!

Without any ado, here they are!

Yeah…the look is growing on me. And now I've heard from multiple sources that I look like Cmd. Riker on Star Trek:The Next Generation.
Great. I went from Silent Bob to Cmd Riker. Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Pictures of the haircut!

Me before:

Me after:

Yeah, I know I need to shave.

I can't sleep

look at the time. I haven't gone to bed yet. I'm not even tired. But…I'm going to force myself to lay in bed until I fall asleep.

a random question for everyone

Ok. So I'm sitting here and I wanted to update my LJ, and this weird/random question popped into my head, so I thought I'd ask you all!

Be brutally honest.

What characteristics(mentally, emotionally, physically, and personality-wise) do I have that make me un-datable?

Other than a few random dates, I figure I've been pretty much single now for over 6 months, and while being single hasn't killed me yet, it is getting fairly annoying. I'm sure there must be things about me that people(namely of the opposite sex) find unattractive. And I want to change those things. Not just to be more appealing to the female gender, but also because I'm sure anything anyone comes up with will be something that I should change to help make me a better person.

So yeah. Theres my question. Give me some answers.

I can take it

*braces self against the wall*

The outcome of my over-nighter at work

Well, it's about 5:30am and I just got home from work. Yup–thats right. Work. I ended up getting to work at about 6pm, and while I was only going to stay until midnight, I decided to work more and stay until Tina and Shelly left–which was 4:30am. We got ALOT done, the backroom looks so very awesome! Not to mention the front of the store. So yeah…on that note- I met Shelly. And she is totally cool! We clicked(in a boss/subordinate way) and I'm really glad shes our new supervisor. Plus, Tina was there, and we started talking about selling credit cards(which we will now start calling Family Christian Rewards Cards) and she completely gave me some awesome tips and tricks (like re-naming them so that the customer doesn't shoot us down right after they hear the words 'credit card')

*Sigh* Also, since I worked until 4:30am, I no longer have to go into work tomorrow(well, I guess tomorrow has actually turned into today, if you know what I mean) So I don't have to work until Saturday. Yay!

It's so amazing how in my last entry I sounded so depressed and after praying and giving it up to God he totally changed my whole perspective.

Oh! And on another random note–before I went to work today I got my hair cut. short. really short. My co-workers hardly reconized me. Pictures are soon to follow.

And on that note, I'm off to bed. I need at least a few hours of sleep before my mom and I start our apartment shopping adventures!

Nickness out.

*shrug*

So I'm not going to the Manassas store for training tomorrow. My new store manager Shelly decided to come into our store a day early, and with all the clean up we need, shes decided to postpone my training for 2 weeks. Which means that early tomorrow morning I'm supposed to be in my store ready to clean and straighten. Ofcourse, shes supposed to call me back and give me a definite time, and when she does if I'm lucky I can convince her to have me come in late tonight since her and Tina(her Manager trainer) will probably be there late throughout the night. That way I'll still work my 9 hours but I'll have more of an actual day off tomorrow, which will be nice since my mom and I planned on doing some stuff.

Bah. I'm already not liking this. The needs of the business come first I suppose, but changing someone's schedule less than 24 hours before they're supposed to work with no disregard to any previous plans made? I'm not happy.

Hopefully Rob will come through on the armed security guard application that has the potential of having me earn anywhere from $18-$21 an hour.

*sigh*

Please pray for me.

Whoever thought I'd be this frustrated with a Christian company?

EDIT: OK, I've done an actual phone to phone conversation with the new SM. Looks like I'm working tonight from 8ish to about midnight, and then working 4-5 hours tomorrow, from 7am til 11 or noon. So I should be home tonight by 1am. Sigh. This works out much better than having me work 9 hours tomorrow cleaning. Maybe I'll even go in early tonight so I won't have to work as much tomorrow.

A much needed real update

First off I'd like to thank all my friends who contributed to my recent LJ updates. It was much appriciated, and hopefully for you all it was fun to listen to.

So it's been over a week since I've really updated my LJ. I'm all moved into my apartment, excluding the two boxes of VHS tapes I still need to unpack. And after many issues with Comcast I have working internet and after much ado over cleaning my keyboard and 'breaking' the spacebar, it is now fixed and I am back to my normal typing/internet surfing schedule. Yay!

I have the next two days off of work(including today, which is almost over) Then on Friday I'll spend 9 hours training in the Manassas store. It's much needed. The same day I go for training, my new Store manager Shelly starts in my store. It's…going to get interesting really quickly. And I desperately need training on how to sell things to customers. The hardest thing to sell is our new credit card initiative. There are so many great perks to the card, and just for applying they get a free book! But as soon as they realize it's a credit card offer, they shoot me down. The program has been going on for about 4 months(well, longer, but it's only the past four months that they started putting a big push on it) and I've only been able to sell 4. 1 to myself, 2 to family, and only 1 to an actual customer. How sad is that? And very soon the expectation is going to be to sell at least one a shift, per person working. Sadness. So if anyone wants to help me out, you get a free book just for applying, AND you don't even have to activate the card when it comes in the mail. If something doesn't happen soon–I'm going to have to look for another job. I'm not sure how much longer I can stay in the 'you must sell this and that' environment.

I'm really bored. And tired. But I think thats only because I'm bored. And to be quite honest, I'm a little lonely in my new place. At least when I was locked in my room hiding from my dad there were others in the house. Now it's just…me. These are the times I really miss having someone in my life to…well….share my life with. God has so not called me to be single.

Well, there it is. An actual update for you all. Not the happiest of updates, but an update none the less. And ofcourse I'll leave you all with a Sinfest comic. *sigh* I hope everyone is having an awesome life. Feel free to drop in on mine any time you want.

Nickness Out.

In Rafael's own words…

Just a short rant

So none of my family can help me move. I pick two whole days to move, and none of them will even lift a finger to help me.

So it's just me. And whatever friends I can convince to help me. And I can't even bribe them with pizza.

Yeah…go family!

grrrr.

Berean, More Mo', and Duncan Donuts

Heres a voicepost from (almost) everyone at Duncan Donuts. For some weird reason it seemed to center on Canadians and how not cool they are. LOL. It is way late and I am gonna go to sleep. I'll edit/update this post later tomorrow evening with a 'real' update.

Cheers!

the lyrics to two of my favorite songs

So.. I have LOTS of favorite songs…. but today I wanted to share with you the lyrics to two of them.

Enjoy.

So Sick

Mmmm mmm yeah
Do do do do do do do-do
Ohh Yeah

Gotta change my answering machine
Now that I'm alone
Cuz right now it says that we
Can't come to the phone
And I know it makes no sense
Cuz you walked out the door
But it's the only way I hear your voice anymore
(it's ridiculous)
It's been months
And for some reason I just
(can't get over us)
And I'm stronger then this
(enough is enough)
No more walkin round
With my head down
I'm so over being blue
Cryin over you

And I'm so sick of love songs
So tired of tears
So done with wishing you were still here
Said I'm so sick of love songs so sad and slow
So why can't I turn off the radio?

Gotta fix that calender I have
That's marked July 15th
Because since there's no more you
There's no more anniversary
I'm so fed up with my thoughts of you
And your memory
And how every song reminds me
Of what used to be

That's the reason I'm so sick of love songs
So tired of tears
So done with wishing you were still here
Said I'm so sick of love songs so sad and slow
So why can't I turn off the radio?

(Leave me alone)
Leave me alone
(Stupid love songs)
Dont make me think about her smile
Or having my first child
Let it go
Turning off the radio

Cuz I'm so sick of love songs
So tired of tears
So done with wishing she was still here
Said I'm so sick of love songs so sad and slow
So why can't I turn off the radio?
(why can't I turn off the radio?)

Said I'm so sick of love songs
So tired of tears
So done with wishing she was still here
Said I'm so sick of love songs so sad and slow
So why can't I turn off the radio?
(why can't I turn off the radio?)

And I'm so sick of love songs
So tired of tears
So done with wishin you were still here
Said I'm so sick of love songs so sad and slow
Why can't I turn off the radio?
(why can't I turn off the radio?)
Why can't I turn off the radio?

Geek in the Pink

(Yo brotha A to Z)
(Yo what's up B?)
(Yo what time is it?)
(Haha… its laundry day!)

Well let the geek in the pink take a stab at it
If you like the way I'm thinkin' baby wink at it
I may be skinny at times but I'm fat fulla rhymes
Pass me the mic and I'm a grab at it
well isn't it delicious crazy way that I'm kissin'
Cause baby listen to this don't wanna miss it while it's hittin'
Sometimes you gotta fit in to get in
But don't ever quit cause soon I'm gonna let you in but see

I don't care what you might think about me
You'll get by without me if you want
I could be the one to take you home
Baby we could rock the night alone
If we never get down it wouldn't be a let down
But sugar don't forget what you already know
I could be the one to turn you out
We could be the talk across the town
Don't judge it by the color, confuse it for another
You might regret what you let slip away

Like the geek in the pink pink pink
Like the geek in the pink yeah

Well this relationship fodder don't mean to bother nobody
But Cupid's automatic musta fired multiple shots at her
Because she fall in love too often that's whats the matter
At least I talk about it keep a pattern of flattery and
She was starin' through the doorframe
and eyeing me down like already a bad boyfriend
Well she can get her toys outta the drawer then
Cause I ain't comin' home I don't need that attention, see

I don't care what she might think about me
she'll get by without me if she want
I could be the one to take her home
Baby we could rock the night alone
If we never get down it wouldn't be a let down
But sugar don't forget what you already know
I could be the one to turn you out
We could be the talk across the town
Don't judge it by the color, confuse it for another
You might regret what you let slip away

Hey baby look at me go
From zero to hero
You better take it from a geek like me
I can save you from unoriginal dum-dums
Who wouldn't care if you com…plete him or not

So what I've got a short attention span
A coke in my hand
Because I'd rather have the afternoon, relax and understand
My hip hop and flip-flops well it don't stop with the light rock
A shot to mock you kinda puts me in the tight spot
The hype is nothing more than hoo-ha so I'm
Developing a language and I'm callin' it my own
So take a peek into the speaker and you'll see what I mean
That on the other side the grass is greener

I don't care what you might think about me
You'll get by without me if you want
I could be the one to take you home
Baby we could rock the night alone
If we never get down it wouldn't be a let down
But sugar don't forget what you already know
I could be the one to turn you out
We could be the talk across the town
Don't judge it by the color, confuse it for another
You might regret what you let slip away

Like the geek in the pink pink pink
I'm the geek in the pink yeah
geek is the color for fall
I'm the geek in the pink yeah
so I'm the geek y'all
in the pink y'all
geek is the color for fall
I'm the geek in the pink

the best voice post ever!

yeah.. we were at IHOP after watching “Last Holiday”

Sigh. My friends are awesome. For the first time in a long time I laughed so hard I couldn't breathe.

Favorite quotes for the night: “We're the only ones not up there!” and “no, no, it was 3 times. We dated, broke up, dated, broke up, dated, and broke up.”

I'm Moving!

I'm moving!

I move into my new apartment Monday Jan. 16, 2006 at 4pm

And I have an address!

9900 Shallow Creek Loop
Apt. #202
Manassas, VA 20109

My phone number…. well, it's my cell(703-901-4730) but you all knew that.

Yay!

The sad thing- Comcast(for tv and internet) won't be turned on until sometime on Sat, the 21st. So no internet for me until then! But.. I'll update you all using phoneposts. So be happy!

*sigh*

It's been a long time coming.

(note: In case you missed the lockbox up top, this entry is a friends-only entry for a reason. Please don't share my information with anyone. Even if you think they're allowed to have it, please don't give it out. Have them email me at nick@ztug.net. Yeah…posting this official notice changed the mood of my post. I'm sorry, but it had to be said.)

A break from the madness

So… the last frame on this comic completely rocks my socks off.

I'll hide it behind the cut incase you all don't want to see it just yet! (plus, the image is pretty big)

I want an elephant!

It's Wednesday night and theres nothing to do

Work today was…boring and tiring all at the same time. Tomorrow I do it all over again from 9am-5:30pm. But chances are I'll get there really early so I can get extra work done before the store opens.

As much as I complain about my store, I really do love it. I look at it and see so much potential. I just wish I could hire a night time stocking crew that could work 8 hours a night once a week. I have so many plans for the store, but none of them will come to pass if the back room doesn't get cleaned up and empty of product.

On a different subject all together–wow! I never would have thought that so many people would have responded to my controversal question, and I know there are still more that need to reply. Good thing I didn't pick something really really bad like the dealth penalty or abortion. LOL.

Lately, even though I've not been sleeping well, I'm constantly feeling really run down. Like, majorly lethargic and full of malaise. How sad is that?

I've been thinking about learning the piano or the guitar? Any advice/suggestions?

Also, MAG is offering another berean class(the first one I took i just.. never even started) but this one is being hosted(taught) by a guy I know who is really really smart. The only issue is I'd have to skip out on Mosaic for the duration of the class(why they always schedule it the same time as Mo' I'll never know) I really wanna do Global(so I actually get a degree) but Berean is faster and less expensive. And I really want to be a Pastor. But.. the sooner I finish the program, the sooner I have to make that stupid 'to marry or not to marry decision'. Grrr. So I'll be praying about that, and we'll see what happens. But this week is the cut off date for the class. Any advice? Oh, and if everyone could pray for me… that would be awesome.

Jack is gonna keep everyone company on this entry. No making fun of his green-ness.

my freakout is over, and I have a controversal question

Yay! My freakout is over! I really have no idea what came over me. I think it was just the shock of seeing something that was related to her after going so long without hearing/seeing anything. But I'm fine now.

Thank you to everyone who who left me some encouraging words and to those who prayed for me–God is good.

The week is halfway through! I have to leave for work soon, but when I come home I'll probably actually really start the process of packing up my room/throwing old stuff away to get ready for my move next week.

*sigh* <–Thats a good sigh!

I'm still in the middle of looking for a room-mate. I've had a few people who are interested, but I'm fairly reluctant to rent to someone I don't really know, christian or not(we all remember the fiasco that happened with Mike) It's something I'll have to be praying about–I don't want to pick a room-mate based out of my desperation to save more money, I'd rather pick one who I know is going to be a good fit for my life.

Oo.. controversy time! I've spoken to some people about this and gotten different responses. What is everyone's opinion on room-mates of the opposite sex? Is it good or bad? Why is it good (or bad)? If anyone is really bored and feels like really arguing their point, I'd love to read it. So far, I'm leaning towards the…if its a platonic friendship and it's only ever going to be a platonic friendship, then why not? end of the spectrum, but I'm very interested in hearing everyone's thoughts. And none of this “it's not proper” excuses. If you don't think it's proper, give me reasons why it's not. I'll admit, in the past it was not socially acceptable to have a room-mate of the opposite sex, but times are changing and now it's the norm. Ooh! I should post this question on some other sites I frequent, and see what happens.

EDIT: I am looking for a male room-mate. While my opinion at the moment was stated above, that doesn't mean I am going to go look for a female room-mate(unless ofcourse my sister decided she wants in, and even then I'm not so sure). Personally for me a male room-mate would be perfect because it's awesome accountability and a great chance to deepen a friendship that I already have. I just want know everyone's thoughts on opposite sex room-mate situations. Nothing wrong with a little controversy, right?

Well, I'm off to take a shower and go stick it to the man. (wait… aren't I the man? So.. wouldn't I be stickin' it to myself? Darn it….nevermind)

What are the odds?

Just when I was getting comments about the positive outlook in my posts and moving beyond Rhema, this has to happen. So I’m online like usual, hangin’ out and surfing around when I make my way to http://www.deviantart.com/. I’m really getting into photography now, so I thought I’d take a look-see and explore all the things online users were doing with their pictures. A click here, a click there, and suddenly I’m starring at a thumbnail that looks really really familair. I click it. And… (dun dun dun!) it just so happens to be Rhema’s DA profile. So ofcourse not being very strong willed I continue to surf around it. And now I have information(like new contact info) and images(of her) that won’t seem to leave my head. And I feel sick. Theres this tightness in my stomach and it won’t go away. It wasn’t til I started tasting my own tears did I realize I was crying. *sigh* And I know I have no real reason to be depressed or sad, and yet for some reason I am. I’m supposed to go over to Shortstack’s house and meet with a bunch of people for the usual House/Boston Legal party and to be quite honest–I don’t feel like going anymore. You’d think the warning bells going off in my head would drive me to actually seek out the comfort of my friends, and yet here I am: doing what I’ve always done, and probably always will do–retreating to my room, being by myself, and wallowing in….what? self pitty? self loathing? dreaming about the ‘what ifs’? It’s been over six months. I don’t need to be feeling this way. I shouldn’t be feeling this way. I was under the assumption I had delt with all of this crap. Obviously, I assumed wrong.

*sigh*

I created my very first LJ user icon today, all by myself. It completely sucks, but at least it’s a starting point for something grand to eventually happen. Incase you happen to have missed it, heres a picture of it:

And I got no packing done today. But at least Justin, Daniel and I were able to plan this Thursdays CORE.

Damaged people are dangerous. They know they can survive.

Yeah, thats a quote from one of Rhema’s DA projects….

This is the part where the post ends and i go read my Bible.

END.

5am and I haven't gone to bed yet

So it’s about 5am and my insomnia is in full swing. Work yesterday went well, I taught Debbie how to close(which is good because its the first step to me having Monday nights off again) but other than that it was really boring. I was going to go to ihop, but after a quick call to shortstack, realized that none of the regular people were going to be there. I was tired(or so I thought) so I came home. Only to drink lots of water and get online. After chillin’ online til about midnight, I switched mediums to the phone. I just got off the phone about 20 minutes ago. Yup–four and a half hours of wonderfully great phone conversation. It’s been a really long time(since Rhema) where I’ve actually been able to be on the phone for that long and keep conversation flowing naturally.

And now I’m off the phone but still very much awake. Thank God I don’t have to work today! I should get a head start on packing up my room, but that would be way too noisey and I can’t wake anyone up(that would be very bad) So I figure I’ll just relax for a little while and read my bible/do devotions before starting on my room. And lets not forget my 1:30pm lunch appointment with Justin and Daniel to plan this week’s CORE meeting. After that I’ll be free until tonight’s House/Boston Legal party. Yay. More packing up my room. I wish I had help. Not that theres that much to do, but packing is always much more fun when theres more people involved.

I’m in a wacky, crazy, sleep deprived mood. And because of that, I’ll leave you with a Reverand Fun comic, instead of a Sinfest comic.

Monday Monday.. can't trust that day

Wow. I am so about to leave for work. It's gonna be awesome! (note:major sarcasm, or wonderful optimism, take your pick)

Tomorrow is my other day off, and if I don't get offers of hanging out and having fun soon, I'll spend the day packing up my room and getting ready to move.

It's also a House/Boston Legal night tomorrow night. Plus I gotta meet with Justin to plan Men's CORE for Thursday.

*sigh* And now I have to leave for work. If anyone needs me, feel free to hit me up on my cell(703-901-4730) Since I'm at work I might not answer, so it's a better bet that you go ahead and use my cell number to send me a text message(those I can respond to)

And if you're a creepy stalker laughing at just getting my phone number–give it up. I mean, you could stalk me, or you could do better things with your time–like developing the latest gadgets for the space time fluximatic building.

hehehehe… yeah, I'm not that witty this morning. It sucks.

ps: new LJ theme. What do you all think? I'm not quite keen on the colors, but those are easily changeable