The Life of the Nickness

“You’ll Love this when I’m Famous”

Is there a Santa Claus? - a physicist view

Consider the following:

1) No known species of reindeer can fly. But there are 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and germs, this does not COMPLETELY rule out flying reindeer which only Santa has ever seen.

2) There are 2 billion children (persons under 1 8) in the world. BUT since Santa doesn’t (appear) to handle the Muslim, Hindu, Jewish and Buddhist children, that reduces the workload to 15% of the total - 378 million according to Population Reference Bureau. At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that’s 91.8 million homes. One presumes there’s at least one good child in each.

3) Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical).

This works out to 822.6 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to the next house.

Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false but for the purposes of our calculations we will accept), we are now talking about .78 miles per household, a total trip of 75-1/2 million miles, not counting stops to do what most of us must do at least once every 31 hours, plus feeding and etc.

This means that Santa’s sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man- made vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second - a conventional reindeer can run, tops, 15 miles per hour.

4) The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium-sized lego set (2 pounds), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as overweight.

On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that ‘flying reindeer’ (see point #1) could pull TEN TIMES the normal amount, we cannot do the job with eight, or even nine.

We need 214,200 reindeer. This increases the payload - not even counting the weight of the sleigh - to 353,430 tons. Again, for comparison - this is four times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth.

5) 353,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance - this will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as spacecraft re-entering the earth’s atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy. Per second. Each.

In short, they will burst into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them, and create deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team will be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second.

Santa, meanwhile, will be subjected to centrifugal forces 17,500.06 times greater than gravity. A 250-pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force.> In conclusion - If Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he’s dead now.

November 23, 2006 Posted by the Nickness | Christmas | | No Comments

It's almost thanksgiving…

First off I'd like to apologize to my readers. It's been quite a long time since I posted anything of substance on my LJ. A part of me wants to blame myspace, but even then I don't post anything of substance on their blog. Worry not, for I am still an LJer in my heart.

Recently I've had a few major changes going on in my life. Well, some of them have yet to happen, but they're just around the corner so I think I should tell everyone. I think I'll do it in the ever so popular list, with my comments in italics.

1. My lease is up on my apartment Jan 11. (not too much to say about this–thank goodness I'm leaving. I've never really found an apartment complex that I actually enjoy living at. That might be because I hate the idea of renting–why rent when you can own? So chances are I'll be moving in with my brother for a little while-helping him with his new house, and trying to save money at the same time. Ofcourse moving in with my brother brings us directly to…

2. My brother is alergic to cats(and so are some other people I know) so moving in with him means I need to find Simon another home. Its sad, cause I've really come to love this cat, and it's gonna be really hard for me to let him go. I'm trying to do it as soon as possible cause now that I know he has to go, I don't want to prolong it and drag it out, or it will be much more harder for me to let go later.

November 19, 2006 Posted by the Nickness | Uncategorized | | No Comments