The Life of the Nickness

Anyone have any ideas on an (inexpensive) gift I can get Megan for Christmas?

All you girls out there: What would you want your man to get you?

Ever since I was introduced to Regina Spektor this past march, I’ve always been able to rely on her music as a catalyst for my emotions.

I love how music(in general) has that ability. How it can draw you inside of it and stir up so many emotions, some of which you didn’t know existed, or thought were long dead.

One minute you can be happy and carefree, but listen to the wrong song and your emotions can do a 180 quicker than you thought possible. They say your sense of smell is the greatest sense that can recall a memory, but for me I think it may be my sense of sound.

I can listen to a song I haven’t heard in years and remember every word, and be able to recall certain people, places, or things in my life that I’ve associated with that song. Not only that, but lyrics in songs I’ve never heard before cause instant recollections of the same, causing me to associate the two together.

Anyways(the above was a HUGE rabbit trail), back on track to my girl Regina. Her song Samson(which I must say I fell in love with before the rest of America caught on) is awesome. Read the lyrics here and think about what the song means to you before reading my thoughts.

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For some unknown reason(maybe it’s the geek in me trying to get out), I really have a strong desire to learn linux.

Anyone know of any good websites that would help a beginner like me learn it?

I just sent up my gmail account to forward to Thunderbird.

I’ve been missing Thunderbird ever since ztug.net went offline.

Good to have you back, Thunderbird.

Anyone else out there use Thunderbird? What do you think of it? What are your favorite add-ons?

Whats your favorite cocktail recipe?

I was thinking about time travel recently, and that question popped into my mind. (yes, I’m a dork)
I mean, we know time is linear, not circular, so we can’t travel back in time. The best we could do is observe the past.

But… if I could go back in time, what would I change? Anything? I’m sure if I thought hard enough, I could think of many, many things. But then I would be changing myself, since who I am today is influenced by the events I’ve experienced. (I won’t even go into the idea that those changes might lead me to not even create a time machine, therefore creating a horrible paradox that could destroy the universe, or at the very least myself)

The scary thought? What if the me of the future has already gone back in time, and the life I’m living now was the best Future-Me could do?

What kind of crazy messed up life must I have lived?

Or worse still…what if I was living the perfect life, but arrogant Future-Me thought he could go back and make it even better, yet succeeded only in completely screwing it all up?

Damn you, Future-Me!

So I was randomly thinking of stuff and started thinking of these questions…anyone have an thoughts?

What is the purpose of friendship?

What’s its reason for existing?

What does friendship give us that our relationships with our family can’t?

(feel free to debate among yourselves)

If someone who had never met me asked you to describe me, how would you do it?

How do you earn back trust that been so completely shattered that you can’t even see or associate with any of the people whose trust you need to earn back?

(note: yes I realize this probably should have been my very first journal entry, but the following was written down in a notebook and I just found it a few days ago)

“Perhaps, if I am very lucky, the feeble efforts of my lifetime will someday be noticed, and maybe, in some small way, they will be acknowledged as the greatest works of genius ever created by Man.”

Introduction

Yes, this is my notebook. Mine to do with whatever I please: write in, draw in, spit in, and plan my hostile takeover of the world in. Ok, ok, maybe not the second one. I don’t draw that well, so I’ll just take lots of pictures. If you’re reading this, and it’s typed-yeah for me! That means I finally got around to typing it on my computer. If you’re reading this and it’s handwritten—you must be either me or my girlfriend (Sabrina Shevitz) these are the only people allowed to read this in its pre-final form. And if you’re reading this Sabrina, MWAH! I love you. You are the best girlfriend in the entire world.
But what exactly is “this”? I’m not sure. I really enjoy writing (although the police didn’t find my bomb threat that enjoyable) and one day (04/02/02) I just got really bored and decided to create this “thing” I’m not sure what it will turn out to be just yet, so I guess if you want to know you have to keep reading.
A little about me: My name is…I’m not sure! I go by many names: One Foot, 5-fingered Nicky, Chef Nicolae, or just plain Nick. You can call me any of those you want. I told the government that and you know what they picked? Nicholas Christopher Clark. How unoriginal. That wasn’t even one of the choices. But you know how the government is, they just don’t care about you; Unless, of course, you owe them money. But even then, you don’t talk with them, oh no! You chat with their good buddy Satan. (Otherwise known as the IRS)
But enough about that–I mean, I could go on about the government, but who wants to read about really exciting government conspiracies? Ah, who knows? Maybe later I’ll write about a few of them. On to the original subject: so now you know my name. Don’t forget it, for one day it will be famous. At the time of writing this I am 18 years old. In two weeks, I’ll be 19. Pretty darn cool, huh? I go to a great college in Minneapolis, MN– North Central University. It’s a great Bible school, and for me wanting to become a pastor, that makes this place close to Heaven.
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Wow. I actually remember writing the above. Strange. It was written over a year ago. Back then my life was happy. Now it is anything but. I guess that was my first attempt at some kind of way cool journal. Too bad I stopped it, or maybe I would have some sort of idea what happened. Remember Sabrina, “the best girlfriend in the entire world”? Well, she and I got married. Now (08/30/03) we’re separated, to be divorced in Jan of 2004. I no longer go to college in Minneapolis. I had a heart attack end of the school year, my grades dropped, and they kicked me out. I ended up going to another AG school in PA—Valley Forge Christian College. I hated it there. The only good thing was my job—nope, no longer Chef Nicolae, now it was asst. dollar tree manager Nick. Of course, I said that was the good part. And it was; while it lasted. Then I got married, decided to take a year off of school. Wife convinced me to move back to Manassas. Now I work as an asst. manager of a blockbuster video. It is still the only good thing about my life now. I feel like I have no purpose. I feel like I am living someone else’s life. Like my life is really back at North Central, and I am dreaming all of this. But I know this is real. Pathetic, but real.
What a life that I have, huh? Now for the question of the day—do I try to just sum up my life, or do I journal it every day? Hmm…well, since I have transferred this writing into the livejournal, I guess there is little else I can do save write down my life for future generations of people to laugh at and mock me.